Sacrificial Love
by nicola.anderson.7
Summary: T for Paranoia. Loch is alive, Juni isn't one of Lord Loss's acomplices and Dervish is so in love. Oh did I forget to mention I'm turning into a werewolf?
1. Chapter 1

Sitting alone in my room. Thinking. I glare over at the chair by the window. Just a few nights ago, my uncle Dervish sat in that chair. But not now, now he's at Juni Swan's house, staying the night. Having a steamy session. Well that's my theory. He's been spending more and more time over there with _her. _I've barely seen him. And I know it's stupid, he can't sit in the chair and watch over me every night, that would be creepy. But he could at least talk to me. He refuses to talk to me, or even acknowledge my presence, when he's in conversation with Juni. And I know this is selfish but he's my uncle. Not hers. I can't help but feel like she's stealing him away from me. I know it's shallow but without him guarding my sleep, i don't sleep. I'm scraed my wolfen genes with take over, that I'll turn and no one can do anything about. I glance out the window. The moon is suspiciously close toa full moon. It terrifies me.

Sighing I push myself up from my bed and go wander around the house. Just as I leave the kitchen, the doorbell rings. I sigh and go to hand out candy to some kid from the Vale. It Halloween tonight. I answer it but instead of finding a bunch of kids, I find Reni Gossel standing there, dressed in a tight, leather corset with fishnet tights and black pumps. She has a short leather skirt on with some fake blood on her neck, like vampire bites. She comes closer to me and I get a whiff of alcohol. Usually I'd take her home but when she holds up a bottle of vodka up, I decide to loosen up. After all, it is Halloween.

2 HOURS LATER

Sitting on my bed, slurping from a beer can. We haven't opened any of Dervish' wine because he'd kill me but Reni had eight 6 packs of beer back at her house. After sneaking round to her house and sneaking them out we were back in my room, beer cans strewn across the floor and bed. I grin and belch loudly before breaking into loud laughter. I've been dressed up for Halloween. Black boots, black skinny jeans, black shirt and some black guyliner, with some fake blood sprayed around my clothes and in my hair. I glance over at Reni, she's staring at me.

"What?" I ask her, my words slurred, my vision spinning. I'm drunk. So very drunk, yet so very happy.

Reni leans over and kisses me. I kiss her back, this isn't like any other kiss. This is a hot, passionate kiss. She pushes me back on the bed and crawls closer to me, kissing down my chest, unbuttoning my shirt. I sigh and smile drunkenly. I pull her face up to mine and kiss her, rolling over so I'm on top, hovering above her, holding myself up with my arms. I shrug my shirt off as she unzips my zipper. My fingers untie her corset as I feel her sink her fingers into my arse cheek. I run my hands up and down her thighs, ripping her tights from her legs. I whip her skirt off as she pulls my jeans off. She sits up and ditches her corset. She runs her fingers up and down my muscular abdomen, moaning with delight. Finally she dares enter my underwear. I unclasp her black lacy bra and cup a breast in each hand, she kisses down my chest finally ripping my boxers off and throwing them away. She isn't wearing any underwear. Finally I dare enter her. She moans in delight, her fingers tangling in my hair, I pull her legs up so they wrap around me waist. That night is filled with pure passion and love, moans and screams of delight from us both. And we have the house all to ourselves.

I wake with a throbbing head and a pounding head ache. I push myself up on the pillows and find Reni gone. I find a note on the pillow next to mine.

**Sorry, I had to go, Loch demanded it! He's got a big wrestling tournament on today. I have to go and watch. I had fun last night, and I've disposed of all the evidence. Love YA Reni xx**

I groaned and rolled back on the pillows, the note crumpling in my hand. Just then I hear electric guitar playing. Dervish must be home. I sit up in bed, whining. I grab some boxers and pull them on then go towards the noise, wincing as my head pounds harder. I kick open the room it's coming from. Dervish and Juni are sprawled in armchairs, Dervish' fingers strumming the guitar. I rub my eyes groggily as Dervish spots me and stops playing. Juni glances up and smirks at me.

"Someone had a rough night." Dervish smirks evilly, like he's played a cruel trick.

"Yeah. Just...couldn't get to sleep. Worrying about some stuff." I mumble, holding my head between my hands, hoping Dervish doesn't smell the alcohol I stink off. Right on cue he grins, "You're drunk." I whine like a kicked dog and nod.

I spend that day recovering from my hang-over, cursing Dervish when he spends the day making particularly loud noises outside my bedroom door. I woke the next day refreshed and ready to face Dervish. I got dressed and went downstairs to get some breakfast. I didn't expect to find Dervish with his tongue so far down Juni's throat he was practically licking her lungs. I backed out of the room as I saw that. I can't help but feel jealous, like Juni said, maybe I am jealous. So what, it's okay to be jealous right? Anyway I just didn't want to see my uncle kicked to the curb when his romance was over.

I was genuinely happy for him, don't get me wrong, I just had a gut feeling that he was going to get hurt. And I didn't want that. Plus, I didn't want Juni invovled if I was turning into a werewolf. I went to the garage/gym. I was only wearing baggy shorts so I could get as sweaty as I wanted. I put some music on from the big stereo we kept in the corner of the room. I went over to the big, battered punching bag and started to beat against it, at the same rhythym of the music. Eventually I got faster and blood was pumping out of my knuckles from where I'd cut them hitting the back. I went over to the weightbench and lifted some weights, venting my anger and jealousy. That night I was fidgety and couldn't stay still, I kept darting over to the window and staring at the moon. I paced my room, my hands trembling and scratching at my neck and face, running my hands through my hair and cracking my knuckles, rolling my neck. Dervish came just as I stood staring at the moon, my hand a gnarled claw, my fingers curling inwards. I had a wicked glint in my eyes.

"Grubbs? You ok?" Dervish asked, arching an eyebrow at me. He was shocked to find me pacing and fidgeting, glancing anxiously out the window.

"We need to talk," I muttered, not taking my eyes off the moon, "Dervish, I think I'm turning into a werewolf."


	2. Love and Other stuff

"Of course you are, Grubbs, it's only natural for you to feel that way. After Gret and Billy both changed." He says, grinning goofily, his thoughts obviously elsewhere. I glare at him, annoyed with his lack of focus on me. I mean, I'm his bloody nephew, you'd think he'd at least care? He cared more with Bill-E than he has with me.

"Well then I'll be sure to eat you first when I turn into a WEREWOLF!" I snarl. He just nods and mutters, "Hmm, yes." I sigh and go ver to the window, staring at the moon. Pacing, fidgeting. Dervish still in the same room, obviously thinking about Juni's va - you know what, I don't want to know what he's thinking about. I walk over to him, grab his face and kiss him on the cheek, hoping to get his attention. It works. He blushes furiously, and I swear I can hear his heart race faster.

"What was that for?" He grumbles, rubbing his cheek, still bright red. I raise an eyebrow at him, "Oh so I've got your attention now, have I?" I grin sarcastically.

"You always had my attention." He smiles, still rubbing his cheek, embarrassed that I've caught him out, "What were we talking about again."

"Oh you know, how was your day, how's life. Oh and yeah, I may have accidently forgot to tell you I'm turning into a WEREWOLF!" Dervish pales, his hand drops from his cheek. He walks over to me, grabs my shoulders, shakes me vigoriously, runs his fingers through my hair, turns me around, frisks me then says.

"Explain it to me. You show no sign of changing." I explain about the levitating above my bed, the turning the water in the tap, the way I broke the bottle and made it into rose petals while kissing Reni. I explain the sickness, going into vivid detail, the werewolf taking over and making me dig the hole to the cave, the howling at the moon. Dervish listens, ocassionally asks me to expand in detail, tweaking his beard, scratching his neck.

"I've be a fool! I've so caught up in Juni, I haven't had time for you!" He snarls and I'm glad he's realized what a twat he's been. Hope for a moment then he says, "But she's just perfect you know, so pale and those eyes - don't get me started on her eyes." The hopes falls.

"What about me? Am I turning or what?" I yowl, snapping him out of his Juni fantasy. He glares at me for disrupting his thoughts then his face clears and he says honestly, "The symptoms you describe are signs that you're turning but no one is aware of the change, no one consciously fights it. But I think...I think you are becoming a werewolf." I frown then sit on my bed.

"What you going to do?" I ask him. Pain shoots across his face, he avoids eye contact then sighs sadly, "We'll just wait and see big guy. We'll wait and see." Then sweeps from the room, choking back sobs. I rip my t-shirt off and ball it up then throw it away. I change into shorts and pad down to the kitchen, intent on making the best sandwich in the whole world. As I'm munching on it the doorbell rings. I stuff the rest of the sandwich in my mouth and go answer the door, chewing thoughtfully. It's Meera.

"Surprise!" She grins and hugs me tightly. I swallow and have a sneaky glance down at her cleavage. She's one hot chica. She kisses my cheek and I blush.

"So how've you been? Where's the old man?" She questions but I don't hear her. If only she had a thing for younger guys. Oh she's so beautiful. I think I'm in love.

"If only she had a thing for younger guys." I mutter, not realising that I said it out loud. Meera raises her eyebrow and kisses my cheek. That brings me back to Earth with a bump, "If only who had a thing for younger guys?" She questions.

"No one. Did I say that out loud?" I gasp, the blood rushing to my ears. I'm so embarrassed. Meera notices but just smiles her dazzling smile and starts to head up to Dervish' study, to find the bald old coot. It's obvious she has a little thing for Dervish, if not why would keep coming here? To this boring old village with nothing to do? If not why's she not married? She could have anyone in the world but yet she remains single. No doubt about it, she has a thing for Dervish.

"Oh Grubbs, by the way, I do have a thing for younger guys!" She chortles from the top of the stairs then disappears. I blush and shrug then go back to the kitchen and fix myself another sandwich. Meera and Dervish appear a couple of hours later, both stony faced and troubled looking. Meera is studying me, looking like she's already picked the flowers for my coffin. Dervish has obviously told her I'm a werewolf and you know that's cool. It just means I can pull out my super duper moves on her, claim it's the last time I might ever see her.

"Who died?" I ask, playfully. Dervish and Meera shoot me disgusted glances. I shrug and raise my hands defensively, "Sorry! Bad joke!" Meera smiles fleetingly and stretches, "I have to go, I only came to discuss what we discussed and I've done that so there's no reason for me to stay. Well Bye all and Dervish have fun with Juni." The last part comes out in a croak. She looks so sad when she says it. I glare at Dervish then go over to her, "I'll walk you out." I offer her my arm which she takes with a little chuckle. We do a camp walk to the door and I help her get her leathers on.

"I take it Dervish told you about me?" I say cheerily. She nods sombrely, I smile, tilt her chin up to face me then say, "Don't worry about me. After all, I'm a Grady. Dervish doesn't know what he's missing out on. He's lucky to have you, even if it is just as friends. I've seen the way you look at him." I mumble. Meera looks downcast then walks to her bike, nodding thoughtfully. I jog after her, "Hey, I'm not done yet!" I grab her arm, spin her towards me, smash my lips in hers and kiss her roughly. Her body presses tightly into mine, fitting perfectly. My hands grip her waist tightly, her fingers grip my hair angrily, pulling at it, trying to pull me away. But I imagine it as adult passion and kiss her harder but gently this time. I know it's wrong to force yourself on someone like this but it had to be done. Otherwise I might've spontaneously imploded. After a while she stops trying to fight me and kisses me back, her tongue washing over my lips, demanding more. I oblige, kissing down her neck, allowing her access to my neck and ear. I feel her sucking on the skin, I know she's giving me a hickey. I kiss her once more on the mouth then pull back, "Just incase I don't see you again." I smile sadly, peck her quickly on the lips then go inside, rubbing my lovebite, feeling more confused than ever.


	3. No More Pain

"Enjoy yourself did we?" Dervish asks, grinning cheekily as I enter, my hand clamped on my neck, hiding the lovebite. He cackles when I sigh at him. _If_ _I'm going to die, I rather be with him than anyone else_, I think to myself sarcastically. He notices my confused expression, his brow furrows, his eyes run over my body then he shrugs and goes up to his study with a simple, "Be that way!" I smile after him. If only he knew. If only he knew the pain. If only he knew who bad I was hurting. His family wasn't killed in front of his eyes, they weren't ripped limb from limb right infront of him. He wasn't incarcerated in a facility for the mentally unstable. His brother didn't turn into a werewolf. His brother knew he had a brother. I growl to myself then throw a plate at the wall, hoping to vent some of my anger. It doesn't work. There's one place I want to be. I want to be home.

My real home, the house where it all went bad. The house I grew up in. The memories, the pain, the impending doom. If I'm to die, I want to die there, with my family. I want to die in the same room as them, like they never left me. But I can't go home, because Carcery Vale is my home now. And it's dangerous out there. Wild child! But firstly I need to tell Bill-E. I need to let him know. No! That would be cruel, then he would know he truly is an orphan and he's just lost a brother. Better to let him grieve me as a friend, which no doubt about it, he will. He'll grieve, he'll wake screaming at night, he'll cry, he'll curse my name, he'll hate me for leaving him, his only friend but he'll get over it. He'll have Dervish and his grandparents. Maybe Dervish will tell him the truth , let him know I'm his brother. Maybe I should leave letters for Dervish to find. Maybe Dervish will be so upset he daren't come in my room. He'll get over me. Everyone gets over me, Ickle Orphan Grubbs Grady, no impression on the world. Just a kid with a horrible background. A troubled kid. Well I'll be fine cause' I'll be dead so no hassle. No more drama...no more pain. I'll be free from all the pain, free from all the stress. No more pain.

I snort to myself, why am I even fantasizing about my own demise. How weird is that? No very weird compared to some of the other shit I've seen in my life.


	4. Chapter 4

Making my way up to Dervish' study, a steaming mug of hot chocolate warming my cold fingers. I push open his door. Dervish is hunched up in a big leather chair behind a huge computor screen, the glow illuminating his face in the dark room. I walk in a curl up in the leather chair opposite him. He doesn't look up from the screen but grunts meaning he knows I here. I watch him for a few minutes, draining my mug of hot chocolate. After a few more minutes of awkward silence I slam my mug on the desk and mutter, "What am I going to do? What am I going to do about the werewolf? I don't want to hurt anyone!" Dervish looks up startled, blinking owlishly. He doesn't say anything, just stands up and comes around the desk. He sits directly in front of me, perched on the desktop. He grabs my chin and tilts my head so I'm forced to look at him.

"We're not even sure you are a werewolf. So stop worrying. I'll look after you...I promise. Grubbs, we'll get through this no matter what. I'll battle Lord Loss for you." He says firmly yet softly. I jump up from my seat.

"No! I can't let you fight him! It won't work any way!" I cry, "I won't subject anyone to that. You don't owe me anything! I'll call the Lambs, I don't want anyone to get hurt! Especially not you! You're all I have left!" I hug him hard. He's not going to fight Lord Loss for me. I won't let him or anyone else. I don't want anyone to die for me. Lord Loss won't even help us. If we invite him to Carcery Vale he'll just kill us, he won't help us. He hates us more than anything, well mostly me. He'll be glad of my suffering.

"You might lose some of those noble ideas when the times comes." Dervish says, his voice muffled by my shoulder. I release him, stand tall, "I'm prepared to die." I say softly, firmly. He looks at me, his eyes full of admiration and awe. He claps my shoulder, "You should go get some sleep. I'll be down soon, to keep an eye on things." He says sadly. I nod and go to my room. After I've undressed, I'm only in my boxers, I crawl under the duvet and close my eyes, faking sleep, letting my worries go, relaxing. Tendrils of sleep pull me under but not before I've heard Dervish come in and sit in the armchair by the window.

I jolt awake, sure I'm in danger. I sit up groggily, rubbing my eyes, looking round the room frantically. Dervish isn't in his seat anymore and my door is swinging open. That's what woke me. I'm sure of it. Since I'm up I'll go see if I can find the bald old coot. I roll out of bed and start up the stairs towards his study. The study door is ajar and light is streaming into the hallway. I peek round the corner. Dervish is on the phone, a thin black folder in his hand, making angry gestures, talking animatedly. I know I shouldn't be eavestropping but he looks deep in conversation and my curiousity has been piqued.

"Yes! I know what I have to do! Yes! Of course I can!" He snaps down the phone, then adds on softly, "He's like a son to me. He's my bestfriend. Yes I have the numbers! You just worry about your job and leave me to worry about mine! Just get word to Beranabus!" He snaps then throws the phone down angrily. I'm trembling with fear. Not because what he said but because I know that folder. I know it only to well. It's the folder that contains the numbers to the Lambs. I have them memorised when Dervish was a vegetable, when I lived in fear of the werewolf. Dervish coughs in his study, breaking me out of my thoughts. He;s going to come back to check on me. I sprint down the hall and race down the stairs and into my room. I dive under the duvet and feign sleep. Dervish comes back in, settles himself in his chair and snores. I know he's deeply asleep when I here the pig choking. I sneak out from my bed and creep up the stairs. I push open the door and go over to his desk. I find the folder and just to confirm my fears, flick through the pages. I'm trembling with anger, rage and betrayal. Dervish' gave up on me. We Gradys' never give up on each other. But he's given up on me. He's been in cohorts with the Lambs. I'm going to die for definate now. I carefully place the folder back and go back down to my room. I slip under the covers, giving Dervish a nasty glare with one thought ringing through my head: _And the Lion shall lie down with the Lamb._

When I wake the next morning Dervish has gone out for his jog. I make myself some bacon and shove the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I can't believe Dervish has betrayed me, its low, just low. I always knew this was going to happen just I didn't figure as soon. I guess a part of me hoped that Dervish would take on Lord Loss and win again. But that's a selfish, childish part of me. I wouldn'tsubject anyone to the sheer terror of that encounter. Even Dervish. As I'm going upstairs to get dressed, Dervish bursts in the room, bright red and dripping sweat. He puts his hands on his knees, bends over and pants heavily. I shake my head and continue up the stairs to get dressed.

I avoid Dervish as much as possible, only the ocassional coversation. I become withdrawn and moody, brooding over my inevitable death, barely talking, hardly eating. I'm becoming like I was in the mental asylum. I often wake screaming at night, still fighting the dream world, fighting the werewolf, damaging my body in many places. A cut above my eye, bruises and other small cuts. Dervish is always there, pressing a cold cloth to my head, shaking me awake, comforting me after a brutal nightmare. As wrapped up in Juni as he is, he hasn't forgotten me. Juni's here most nights too. Yippee! I stay away from her too, no need to get the pretty albino invovled in my stupid problems. She'd probably just try and sort it with words anyway. One evening while I'm eating a microwave curry I hear Dervish and Juni talking in the hall.

"Grubbs is turning into a werewolf. But he's stopped talking to me. I want you to try and help him. Please Juni, you're trained at this." Dervish pleads. How dare he tell her my secret!

"Of course I'll help love, but he won't talk to me either. He stays locked in his room. Goes straight up there after school, only comes down for ten minutes to get some food, which I've very little doubt he eats. He's gotten so skinny lately. I'll talk to him. Straight after school tomorrow." Juni promises. The curry leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I put the rest of it in the bin and push out the kitchen, almost knocking Dervish over. I may have lost weight but I could still kick his ass any day.

The next day, after school I get the call I've been waiting for as I enter the house.

"Grubbs, can you come through here for a minute?" Dervish calls. I dump my stuff and rip off my tie. I go through to the TV room. Dervish and Juni are sitting side by side on the couch, his hand on her leg, her hand on top of his.

"What's this?" I question, though I already know! Juni clears her throat and looks at Dervish nervously. Jeez, I'm not that scary.

"I want you to have counsel sessions with Juni. You've become locked away, sullen and moody. You've stopped talking to me and avoid me as if you have a problem with me. I think Juni can help. She's willing to try and so am I." Dervish says carefully, measuring each word. I run a scathing eye over him. Then over Juni.

"You think you can stick me on a couch and get Juni to worm out the truth? Open me up like a can, get deep into brain. Well as much as I hate to disappoint, you'd be wasting your time." I snap, instantly defensive. It's my head, I can keep it locked up if I want.

"We only have your best interests at heart." Juni butts in, "If you'd rather we did patient to counsellor, confidentiality promised fine. But I'd much rather do it friend to friend. Dervish doesn't have to be here, if you have a problem with him"

"I'm not doing it. There's nothing to help me. I'm too far gone. You can't save me. Just leave me alone! I don't need your poxy psychology!" I snarl. Juni looks taken aback by my sudden burst of rage. Dervish rears forward, getting to his feet and posturing up to me. I'm a head taller than him but I know his strength, still I could take him if worst comes to worst.

"Don't talk to her like that!" He roars, raising a hand to slap my face off. I smirk, puffing myself out to my full size. My muscles bulge under my shirt, my hair hangs forward into one eye, giving me a menacing evil look.

"Come then. Hit me. I know you want to." I goad him, he doesn't react so I tell him again, "HIT ME!" And he does. His hand whips my cheek and sends me sprawling to the ground. I clasp my cheek and smirk at him, relishing the pain. I can taste blood in my mouth, "Better?" I cock my head to the side.

"Much." He snarls and storms from the room. Juni goes after him, shooting me a worried glance. I smirk smugly, rubbing my cheek and get to my feet. I don't feel good about that at all. I feel horrible, I shouldn't have snapped like that. But what's done is done so no point crying over spilt milk. I leave the house, slamming the front door so they know I've gone. Hell I don't want to come back. I want to end it all. I don't want to be a werewolf! I don't want to be alive! So that's it. I'll finish it.


	5. I know

Running. Leaping. Sprinting. Panting, sobbing, a stitch developing in my side, furiously wiping away my tears. Briars rip at my skin and shirt, drawing blood, stinging intensely but I shove the pain down, overcome with a different kind of pain. I burst through the tears, racing across the field at the edge of the cliffs. I hit the breaks before I go flying over the cliff edge of the Vale. I pause, peering over the edge of the cliff, staring at the icy waves below, smashing into the rocks. Rain chills me to the bone and wind whips around me, pulling at my clothes and hair, stinging my skin. I glance up at the moon, close my eyes, tilt my head back, hold out my arms and take a step towards the end. Almost...almost...

"Stop!" The cry rips through the air, piercing the thick silence. I whirl round, my eyes snapping open. Dervish and Juni stood twenty foot away, their hands outstretched towards me and faces contorted with pain. Dervish was visibly upset whereas Juni was wearing her most enigmatic counsellor face but I could tell a thousand different things were running through her head. Dervish took a step closer, fear flitting across his face, murmuring quietly, "Why Grubbs? Come away from the edge and tell me, I...we... can help you. Just tell us, please don't do this!" He calls.

"You can't help me! I'm beyond saving! Everything ends eventually! Just go away! Go home!" I yell, more tears coming from my eyes than I ever thought imaginable, "You say you can help me but you can't! And I don't want you to see this cos' you won't understand! I'm dead anyways! I don't want to hurt anyone! I was always dead from the start, I wasn't going to live past my teens, you must of known that because even I had doubts. First Gret then Bill-E, they both became werewolves, I'm the middle child, I always was doomed the minute Bill-E changed! And I know this will be hard but it'll be easy!" I sob, edging closer to the edge. Dervish comes closer, slowly, Juni right behind him. His eyes dart up to the sky and mine follow. The moon is almost full, and getting higher in the sky.

"We can save you, we only have your best interests at heart." Juni whispers.

"I don't need saving! It's too late!" I snarl then double over in excruciating pain. I grab my head tightly in both hands, my fingers curling inwards and scream. Fire shooting through my body, burning my veins, drying out my muscles. All I see is darkness, in and out moments, flashes of lights then black. Warm arms scoop me up and wind rushes past me like someone running. The pain is overwhelming, it's like another body is forcing it's way out of mine. I scream, clawing at my face and head, tugging at my clothes, sweating heavily. It drips from my face, out my hair. Bright lights, supple leather under me. I feel the warm arms place me down, must be on the couch. I roll onto my side, dry retch, cough, retch again then jolt about. My body jerks around like I'm being electrocuted. My breathing is cut off. I can't breathe! My neck arches, the muscles lock in place, my fingers claw at my throat, my body shaking and juddering. My ears are ringing so loud, my brain feels likes it's being bashed off walls and I can't breathe.

"Grubbs! Juni help him! He can't breathe! Help him! Juni!" I hear Dervish's sobs, feel warm hands on my forehead, working away at something, someone muttering soft soothing words. Going blue. I won't be able to stand this much longer. Finally my throat unconstricts, air rushes into my lungs, I gulp it down grateful. The inner battle goes on.

* * *

A long time, I can't tell how long I've been fighting, days, hours, minutes... Heck it could even be seconds, I can't tell the difference. I want to end the pain and suffering, to give in to the werewolf but I can't, the magic won't let me. It fights, it beats the wolf back, struggling within me. Screams, retching, pain, burning, suffering, pain. I feel the claws scratching my insides, pulling at my skin, biting and chewing. Screaming, I roll onto my side and retch. The scream becomes a blood-drenched gurgle as the red liquid whooshes up my throat and onto the floor with a splat. Soft utterings from Dervish and Juni, both talking frantically, encouraging me.

Not long after I've puked up blood the wolf retreats, back into it's lair. I lose consciousness.

I wake with the sun on my face, blinding me. I raise a hand over my eyes, recoiling slightly. I look at my surroundings, blinking sleep from my eyes. I'm in the TV room. Dervish' face is buried in the couch, his body wracked with sobs. He looks like a man that's lost everything. He hasn't. I'm not important. If I died, he'd grieve, he'd move on with the help of Juni and Bill-E. Juni is crying quietly, comforting Dervish, rubbing his back, her lips pressed to his shoulder. They both have their backs to me. I silently push myself up with my elbows and watch them for a few minutes.

"Who died?" I croak, my voice is so dry, the words meaning to come out powerful and firm but a croak. Their heads snap round in my direction, I wouldn't be surprised if one of them cricked their neck doing so. Then Dervish is upon me, hugging me tightly, sobbing into my shoulder. I tolerate the hug but make no move to comfort my sobbing uncle. He shouldn't of came after me, that's not what I wanted. I wanted it to be over by now. I gently prise Dervish off me, and stretch, my joints cracking.

"I'm alive." I deadpan, watching Dervish and Juni. She's glaring at me. Let her glare, she doesn't know anything about me. Dervish drags his wrists across his eyes, wiping away the remaining tears, takes a deep breath and looks at me evenly, "Why?" Is all he says. But in that simple statement, I know what he means. Why won't I talk to him? Why do I want to kill myself? Why? I take a deep breath, roll my neck, stand up and walk to the doorway. I pause, turn to them.

"I know. I know you called the Lambs, and you know that's um...not fine but whatever," I shrug and leave the room, feeling more alone than ever.


End file.
